Consider a Beloved-Recipes Potluck

Such a fabulous way to connect with friends through food-sparked stories

I was so touched when my tai chi teacher reached out last summer, wanting to host a gathering at her house based on the cherished-recipe focus she’d seen me post about on social media. I count that among the many delightful examples I have of how broad the interest in this topic is proving to be; I never know where the next dose of interest is going to come from. And I love that!

The plan for that gathering was to bring a bunch of classmates together and ask them to bring a dish that holds special meaning of some kind. On a Sunday afternoon last summer, a couple dozen of us arrived at Viola’s with bowls, platters, dishes of some family favorite to share with everyone. After visiting for a while and tasting our way through the items, we started going around the group so each could share details about what they brought and whatever story was associated with it.

Alas, I was too wrapped up in the pleasure of the potluck to manage to take photos! These are shots of various things I've cooked in recent years, some of which come with stories too.

When we got around to one classmate, who brought dessert bars made with rice and coconut milk, he mentioned they were a recipe of his Filipina mom’s. He hesitated a bit, didn’t think he had much more to say, then proceeded to string together memories of travels as a military family, various places they’d lived, how his mom’s cooking over time came to include influences from those places and other cooks she learned from. A few minutes later, he seemed surprised at how much he had to say after all! Later, he sent a note that Viola shared with me which included:

“That was the first time I’d thought of that, food as a catalyst to lost memories. As much as I rambled about food it helped me recall things I hadn’t been able to remember.”

Many of us are building on and inspired by food-related connections and memories we’ve been aware of for years—I love helping fuel those explorations. And now I know there’s a whole other audience to try to reach: those who have not yet discovered how deeply tied to our past, our memories, our family that food stories and beloved recipes can be. What a beautiful confirmation of the potential value that these recipe- and food-related conversations (and potlucks!) can have.

A few notes from among other things shared that afternoon, reflecting the breadth of experiences we may have with specific recipes we find dear:

• one classmate brought a date cake, for which she has no full recipe, just notes from her mom; after years of watching and helping her mom make that cake, she’s able to replicate it without a recipe

• another brought chopped chicken liver, a recipe of her aunt’s I believe it was; and in the spirit of updating cherished recipes, she also made a “not liver” version that I recall was based on lentils and walnuts

• a woman with Greek heritage brought a lemon-rice soup with lamb meatballs, explaining it was among things—such as spanakopita and moussaka—that would be served alongside roast turkey on their family’s Thanksgiving table

• there was a coleslaw that had been amended from its original, which apparently the whole family has agreed they don’t like anymore (clear after no one ate it at a holiday gathering a while back); there was general consensus it was time to refresh and lighten it up

It was such a wonderful afternoon, such an amazing way to get to know a bit more about some dear people I’d been seeing in class for a number of years. And a delightful introduction to some others from different classes than the one I attend. It was the kind of delight that I hope you might consider replicating some day. I’ll be planning one soon, too, and will definitely share highlights.

Even if you don’t choose to convene a potluck, I encourage you to think about ways to simply have more conversations about favorite food memories and beloved recipes. Drop it into a chat you have with your neighbors or folks in your walking group, add it to the bits of conversation-starters you draw from for cocktail parties and summer barbecue gatherings. You just never know what direction a conversation may go. More often than not, from my experience, it can lead to an interesting, insightful, and engaging conversation that you wouldn’t have had otherwise.